I Did It, I Was Left Alone
Well yes, after thinking about it, having a tear, a thousand doubts, and two thousand paranoia, I decided and in mid-October, I booked a flight to Portugal.
Now I am here in Porto for my first experience in a solo trip and the first part of my trip (I will spend three weeks here in Porto and then three weeks in Lisbon).
A mix of emotions
The first emotion I ever had is the fear, not that of leaving, taking a plane, or living in a hostel (for me the first experience ever) but the fear of not being able to meet new people, of being alone, and to feel disoriented in a new country without having all my comforts.
True! The first day I felt in another world, the wake-up call at dawn did not help me to be lucid and better understand where I wanted to go and where I was heading.
I was surprised in a moment because within a few hours I had already met the first friends … already so when you travel in this way you meet people who, like you, are sharing experiences and want to test themselves, to discover the world and to venture into new worlds that often take us out of our comfort zone.
Get out of the comfort zone
This is definitely the most challenging thing I am facing. At home everything is known, there are no moments when you do not feel comfortable or do not know how to move or how to behave!
Here in a week I certainly had some difficult moments … especially a couple of days when I felt a little anxious and out of this world. Nothing serious but not being able to sleep well at night, getting out of the routine that I had created for myself, and not being able to eat as well as I would like has destabilized me.
This is certainly normal and with time it will get easier and easier but a couple of days ago it seemed like an insurmountable thing that I was afraid of not being able to overcome.
Trust appearances often deceive, especially if you have expectations and paranoia about yourself.
I am always convinced that I am a superwoman, full of energy, who can do everything and who must never show her weaknesses or rather must lock them up in a small chest and let them out only in inappropriate moments or coming to burst and not being able to manage expectations towards oneself.
This experience has recently started but it is making me understand many things about myself and I am meeting many new people, new friends, new stories, and finding many new opportunities to learn every day also from the experiences of others.